when they started bombing

Monday, October 08, 2001
after arriving home from my weekend upstate, i fell asleep with a sadness that comes when i leave behind the comforts of the sounds of the river and the hikes through the forest. feeling slightly ill, i awoke and checked my email and saw the headline i had been dreading

the one that took me back ten years

we had spent the afternoon celebrating my friend's birthday, we came home and we rang the doorbell and her mother opened the door with tears in eyes, she was crying and she was saying, and i can't remember now, if she said:

we invaded
bush invaded
they invaded

i woke up this morning wondering where i could go, move to, leave this place. disillusioned. jaded. thinking to myself, not again, not again, not again can i pass through my neighborhood parking lot to view the bright yellow bumper sticker on a classmate's car,
black letters... bold type... all caps

NUKE IRAQ

my neighborhood, a few days after i'd moved in, i stepped out in the warm new york day and was confronted with the cold glare of a truck parked outside of the building with its lyrical chant spread across its side in red lettering with the painted words,

we will not forget
we will not forgive

oh, no, not again

my heart dropped twenty feet into the ground... the night before, i was in a local bar and initiated a conversation with an older man. with suspicion, with hostility, he kept asking me

and how do you feel about what they did to the WTC
and i told him, its was wrong, it was wrong here and it's wrong anywhere.
No, but what do you think of what they did.

and i understood. with suspicion and hostility he was penetrating me with his gaze. his words searching for the secret pleasure he may have thought i was harboring, that was hidden behind this amicable faade. he was seeing in me, something of them unless i could claim otherwise with my affirmations, my i love america, united we stand pledge. nod along when he says, i can't wait until we start bom... no more waiting, mister, no more waiting...

my mother called. she asked if i would change the outgoing message on our home machine. the one i recorded years ago, my teenage voice politely beginning with asalumalaikum and following up with our arabic last name. i resisted but she sounded so sad, so scared. it's better to not bring attention to ourselves, she said.

i couldn't push it. i understood, for the times where i suddenly felt it would be easier to slip on the reds, the whites, the blues and assert an identity that i never considered mine, but if anyone who knows me knows, that i never believed in this idea of a nation, that i was myself and that was anything but it, yet everything within it, a little of all and less than none, a mixture of identities that make me, that exclude me, that destroy me, as long as they don't name me.

i spent the morning wondering what to do. another round of bombs are being loosely recorded in the press. yes again, yes again, yes again and again. i skipped class, left messages on people's answering machines with the simple words, i am sad today, pulled out my bed and hid under the covers until crying wasn't enough and hiding didn't change anything. i kept thinking of the luxury of death, of the desire for it, from my disillusionment, to get away from this world, wishing for a way to embark upon it. maybe it is cowardly. maybe it is natural. maybe even possible. but i get up and i sit here and i write. and i make plans to go to the anti-war rally, like the one's i went to ten years ago.

again.

Comments

The article is clearly written and every point is factual and is no-nonsense. I have surf the internet looking for topics such as these and it is here where I find it written and stated well. write personal statement
is head of a , 30 successful in career, the shape isn't high, but pretty much the Dun is solid, the bare-headed has no hair, the looks is immediately brutish, see him, peep out happy http://www.mulberryoutletbag2012.com/ expression on those faces of small bludgers, call a way in succession:"eldest brother!" "Boon!"The baldheaded man swept public one eye, end, the vision fell the bludger head of group Mulberry Handbags body that dislocates in the arm up, his Nao the Nao is big bare-headed, the Yi voice asks a way:"is this what is the row?" "The eldest brother is him!"Bludger Mulberry Hobo Bags head of group finger Xie Wen Dong, roars way:"is that he folded my arm lane!" "?"The baldheaded man complies with the surrounding to hope to go to Xie Wen Dong again and up and down conjectures several eyes, almost break into laughter voice come, regardless is a shape or a looks, he didn't see to have su
Nice info très utile pour moi.Parce que je suis nouveau dans les blogs et je suis besoin bon tutoriel comme votre poste. sac louis vuitton , sacs louis vuitton , sac louis vuitton pas cher
This subject has impressed me for quite some time. I have just started researching it on the Internet and found your post to be informative Share It
I would love see us use our name recognition to subscribe to causes that we believe are in line with SAMAR’s mission. I would love to see us turn out with banners and slogans and show that we are not just virtual, but visible and vocal with our dissent.”90 s fashion
Thanks for your sharing!your material let me know a lot of aspects , this material is really fantastic .I comprehend many aspect in this post.
The presentation looks quite nicely done. Explanation is nicely done and is quite easy to understand. The page is nicely designed and also the planning will be done perfectly. clubmz e-spy
Very interesting blog. Alot of blogs I see these days don't really provide anything that I'm interested in, but I'm most definately interested in this one. Just thought that I would post and let you know. personal mission statement
Nice information, design and excellent precious, things that much with good ideas and concepts, a lot of information and inspiration, both of which we all need, thank you for all the enthusiasm to offer such useful information here. clubmz e-spy
A blog can never be questioned because you are free anything you want but I highly and positively questioned the blogger for posting this kind of blog. I am really impressed and amazed what a kind of knowledge the blogger has. The passion of blogging in this website shows a lot what kind of personality has the blogger. Congrats for a job well done. I salute your article content. cell spyware clubmz reviews
This publish is truly motivational. I like your publish and all you discuss with us is up up to now and quite useful, i would like to save the site so i can come here again to study you, as you have done a amazing job. cell phone spy software
Some of the suggestions you have given have enabled me to apply my own thought process to afford a greater understanding of the issue. Some info that is provided on the Web is not very useful but yours has been worthwhile. credit-report-online.net
I am really aroused by this wonderful stuff. I always prefer to read the quality content and this thing I found in you post. Thanks for sharing free book of ra
I really liked your blog quite informative and interesting facts and figures you have discussed on your blog even the comments are very fruitful and helpful in enhancing the knowledge regarding the topic. new baby cards
casino book of ra||automatenspiele gratis Another skillful example of innovation, I am happy to find it. There are so several developers working on this segment but this is one of the best innovative thought ever. Thanks for sharing it here.
Bombardment can only achieve its objective when the amount of suffering inflicted upon non combatants is sufficient to break down their resolution, and when the commander permits himself to be influenced or coerced by the sufferers. Thanks. Regards, seo toronto inbound
I discovered this writing through Search engines and I really like your material here Thank you for discussing me together with your website page, I’ve get a lot from your web site. Wherever there may be a will there is a way. . Wish, you keep upgrading it very regularly. nasa jewellery
I am happy to found such useful and interesting post which is written in well manner.I really increased my knowledge after read your post which will be beneficial for me. www.getmyloan.net
That is definitely a unique perspective with what happened that day. website
There is definitely so much that went into this day. It is definitely so much to take in when something like this happens.this blog site
There is definitely so much that went into this day. It is definitely so much to take in when something like this happens. You just have to be able to take it in. www.embeddedsensors.ca
http://www.fpamg.net/ My affection alone twenty anxiety into the ground... the night before, i was in a bounded bar and accomplished a chat with an earlier man. with suspicion, with hostility, he kept allurement me.

Add comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <i> <b> <blockquote>

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
7 + 0 =
Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. E.g. for 1+3, enter 4.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.